The Theatrics of U.N.C.L.E., Alvin and Raphael

Perhaps my notebook knew U.N.C.L.E. was going to turn up at Grande Vista. It went crazy and sent me there. Surprised to see him there, the one thing he said to me was, “You never call me ah?”

“U.N.C.L.E.!”

He said nobody calls him that anymore. Everybody just called him uncle, and now I own the copyright of U.N.C.L.E.

The game started with five-a-side. The whites and the reds. Raphael didn’t bring a white top, and changed his top from red to yellow. Enough of Reds already. Alvin said to him, “yellow is good, that means you with us.”

A move started from the back, and the ball reached Remesh, who smashed his shot against the upright.

Raphael assisted in two goals, and Remesh tried to set up one for him. It was the usual stuff the boys deliver. Soon, came the break, after which Remesh left after another half hour or so.


A classic was when Raphael sent his cross over for Simon to head the ball home. Whow! Impressed!

Alvin kept goal, and laughed he did at keepers who let the ball slipped out of his hands. He did the feat himself, and let in another two more. Simon gave up and offered to take over the gloves. Peter said, “Wah, Shifu shang4 chang3 le!”

With the Reds keeper leaving not long after, it was down to four versus five and that’s when all the fun began. I refused to be their target practice at goal. So Peter came out with this rule. The Whites can only shot from outside the yellow curve.

During their second break, Ahmad asked me what was I laughing about. I can’t even remember, but I knew I wasn’t laughing at him. And he took the hint. Smart!

U.N.C.L.E. was S.L.O.W to grasp the new rule, and when Raphael got the ball, he brought the ball out of the “six yard box” and tries a shot. Ahmad was LOL and rolling on the floor and Raphael said it’s tough to do. So Peter changed the rule to, “Can try and score inside the yellow curve, provided the ball does not touch the ground.”

It was a test of skills and techniques, but the goals kept coming. U.N.C.L.E. did get his name into the scoresheet, and I lost count of how many Raphael scored. Peter kept saying that Alvin must make U.N.C.L.E. score with either a bicycle kick or a diving header. On hard court, I doubt anyone would want to do that.

Soon, U.N.C.L.E. punctured and there was a moment when he paused on all fours. I left behind the boys laughing about how the things they would do to score a theatric goal. It was great fun still, and thanks for making me take a break from the notes I have been swarmed with over for the past two months.

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