The most colourful colour commentator
After a LONG drive to Deptford field, we arrived to see players donning red tops already doing their warm-ups on the pitch. What caught me unaware was that I was to become blood donors to the food depleted mosquitoes there.
The heavy downpour prior to KO did nothing to dampen Peter’s mood. He even brought along the “chest” of tops we bought in Korat. Those who turned up without red tops were handed one each, and our regulars took theirs at long last.
Half of the Reds were unfamiliar faces to me, I began to wonder how am I going to blog about this game. So after the team has decided on their tactics, I interrogated Kelvin Tham on the players. I only managed to register Vincent. Though KO was stated at 7pm, the game finally started at 7.35pm.
Kelvin commented that we might lose this game as Rongming had a bandaged knee, and our goalie’s goal-kick buay zhai. Before play had settled down, Chris made a clearance that looked ugly but effective. Not long after, Shawn (I think) sent the Reds one-nil up, strangely followed by his request to be substituted.
Five minutes later, Raphael hit the upright, and saw the ball trickled slowly but surely away from the goal-line. His second attempt too, was denied by the woodwork. Kelvin let out such a agonising “aiyah!”, as though it was his own shot that went out.
Steven mentioned that Dick was almost punctured at this point of time, and the Reds were camping at the opponents half with 60% possession of the ball. Chris Ang then called for substitution as Kelvin Tham took to the pitch. And that was the start of the colourful commentary in Singlish, and I will word it as accurate as possible.
Chris first remarked that our keeper looked like some Hong Kong player and he started to speak in the HK accent. Suddenly he broke out, “Wah! Jee Tua Tu Lang Ah! Kui party ah!!”
“Kelvin! Stand behind, not beside! You not enough to run with him!
With the Reds’ defence caught back-pedalling, the Blacks equalised even though the “commentators” beside me were shouting “Off-side!” But Chris was on the referee’s side, he said, “Oi! Play advantage can or not? Good call ref!”
Rongming then came off for Shawn and Felix took the lead for the Reds not long after. Chris said, “ok, no need to shower early and run before game end already. But first, Loh Hor ah! Siew san oi!” Just before the break, the Blacks went back on levelled terms from a set-piece.
Second-half saw the other Chris took to the field while this botak Chris continued with his running commentary beside me. While Chris was on the pitch, Chris was answering the instructions shouted to the Chris on the pitch. “Ok, yes, ok, yes!” I was already having stitches. Steven mentioned to Chris that he’s very vulgar in his words.
Up next, Steven got a taste of what it’s like to be shouted at on the pitch as he took his place up front. With Peter up at the grandstand and Dick along the sidelines, Chris said now everybody wants to become coach. Different sets of instructions were conveyed to the pitch. And he said if not for Arsenal (Not Tom Siow) at the back, we would be trailing by a couple of goals. All of a sudden, Chris shouted “I LOVE ARSENAL!”
The Blacks finally took the lead for the first time in the game. A nice goal (as agreed by the commentators around me). Then, as Raphael ran down the pitch for a scoring opportunity, Chris went, “Raphael! Hood ah!” Then he went “Steven! Lang suay suay jak, chao ah ni kin, lang ga boon hmmm zai simi dai chi!”
Then someone was shouting instructions to the Reds “So and so, go up! So and so, go down!” Chris’ answer to that? “Aiyoh, no time to pick who go up, who got time, who go up lor!”
Distracted by a substitution for the Reds, while the Referee was in the midst of some thick action, Chris pointed out that the Reds so chao! Ref! Never mind! I witness the substitution for you.
Then Alvin was shown a yellow card, and next was Dave, for the Blacks as the Reds was awarded a penalty, to which Rongming converted.
With plenty of space in the Reds’ defence, the Blacks made it through as the off-side trap failed. Chris shouted “Nah Beh! Wait for what? Play to whistle! Ref played advantage! Wah Lau! Wait for what? Lah Kopi si boh! ARSENAL! Ho Yee Si!”
With Dave being substituted, Chris and Dave started to suan each other, and up came a flying mineral water bottle, straight at Chris. And when he finally decided he should get back into the action, “OI! All Teo Chews ah? Hao Lian! Nobody want to come out huh?”
Then we saw Raphael sending the Blacks’ defenders back-paddling as he took on the keeper one-on-one. He managed to beat everyone, the keeper before chipping the ball towards goal. But the speed of the ball was not as quick as the defender and the ball was cleared off the line! We were speechless!
Itching again to get onto the pitch, Chris imitated the announced at airport, “Paging for the Reds players. Anyone wants to be substituted?” To which, Raphael responded. Off he went, and Steven pointed out that off or on the pitch, Chris equally talkative! True to his own words of letting his feet do the talking, Chris made the tackle of the match as he chased a Blacks’ player down from midfield down to almost the six-yard box before going for the ball, to clear the danger for the Reds.
After the final whistle, someone mentioned that Dick was all patterns but not action. And to quote him, he said “Dick is a cock!”
The heavy downpour prior to KO did nothing to dampen Peter’s mood. He even brought along the “chest” of tops we bought in Korat. Those who turned up without red tops were handed one each, and our regulars took theirs at long last.
Half of the Reds were unfamiliar faces to me, I began to wonder how am I going to blog about this game. So after the team has decided on their tactics, I interrogated Kelvin Tham on the players. I only managed to register Vincent. Though KO was stated at 7pm, the game finally started at 7.35pm.
Kelvin commented that we might lose this game as Rongming had a bandaged knee, and our goalie’s goal-kick buay zhai. Before play had settled down, Chris made a clearance that looked ugly but effective. Not long after, Shawn (I think) sent the Reds one-nil up, strangely followed by his request to be substituted.
Five minutes later, Raphael hit the upright, and saw the ball trickled slowly but surely away from the goal-line. His second attempt too, was denied by the woodwork. Kelvin let out such a agonising “aiyah!”, as though it was his own shot that went out.
Steven mentioned that Dick was almost punctured at this point of time, and the Reds were camping at the opponents half with 60% possession of the ball. Chris Ang then called for substitution as Kelvin Tham took to the pitch. And that was the start of the colourful commentary in Singlish, and I will word it as accurate as possible.
Chris first remarked that our keeper looked like some Hong Kong player and he started to speak in the HK accent. Suddenly he broke out, “Wah! Jee Tua Tu Lang Ah! Kui party ah!!”
“Kelvin! Stand behind, not beside! You not enough to run with him!
With the Reds’ defence caught back-pedalling, the Blacks equalised even though the “commentators” beside me were shouting “Off-side!” But Chris was on the referee’s side, he said, “Oi! Play advantage can or not? Good call ref!”
Rongming then came off for Shawn and Felix took the lead for the Reds not long after. Chris said, “ok, no need to shower early and run before game end already. But first, Loh Hor ah! Siew san oi!” Just before the break, the Blacks went back on levelled terms from a set-piece.
Second-half saw the other Chris took to the field while this botak Chris continued with his running commentary beside me. While Chris was on the pitch, Chris was answering the instructions shouted to the Chris on the pitch. “Ok, yes, ok, yes!” I was already having stitches. Steven mentioned to Chris that he’s very vulgar in his words.
Up next, Steven got a taste of what it’s like to be shouted at on the pitch as he took his place up front. With Peter up at the grandstand and Dick along the sidelines, Chris said now everybody wants to become coach. Different sets of instructions were conveyed to the pitch. And he said if not for Arsenal (Not Tom Siow) at the back, we would be trailing by a couple of goals. All of a sudden, Chris shouted “I LOVE ARSENAL!”
The Blacks finally took the lead for the first time in the game. A nice goal (as agreed by the commentators around me). Then, as Raphael ran down the pitch for a scoring opportunity, Chris went, “Raphael! Hood ah!” Then he went “Steven! Lang suay suay jak, chao ah ni kin, lang ga boon hmmm zai simi dai chi!”
Then someone was shouting instructions to the Reds “So and so, go up! So and so, go down!” Chris’ answer to that? “Aiyoh, no time to pick who go up, who got time, who go up lor!”
Distracted by a substitution for the Reds, while the Referee was in the midst of some thick action, Chris pointed out that the Reds so chao! Ref! Never mind! I witness the substitution for you.
Then Alvin was shown a yellow card, and next was Dave, for the Blacks as the Reds was awarded a penalty, to which Rongming converted.
With plenty of space in the Reds’ defence, the Blacks made it through as the off-side trap failed. Chris shouted “Nah Beh! Wait for what? Play to whistle! Ref played advantage! Wah Lau! Wait for what? Lah Kopi si boh! ARSENAL! Ho Yee Si!”
With Dave being substituted, Chris and Dave started to suan each other, and up came a flying mineral water bottle, straight at Chris. And when he finally decided he should get back into the action, “OI! All Teo Chews ah? Hao Lian! Nobody want to come out huh?”
Then we saw Raphael sending the Blacks’ defenders back-paddling as he took on the keeper one-on-one. He managed to beat everyone, the keeper before chipping the ball towards goal. But the speed of the ball was not as quick as the defender and the ball was cleared off the line! We were speechless!
Itching again to get onto the pitch, Chris imitated the announced at airport, “Paging for the Reds players. Anyone wants to be substituted?” To which, Raphael responded. Off he went, and Steven pointed out that off or on the pitch, Chris equally talkative! True to his own words of letting his feet do the talking, Chris made the tackle of the match as he chased a Blacks’ player down from midfield down to almost the six-yard box before going for the ball, to clear the danger for the Reds.
After the final whistle, someone mentioned that Dick was all patterns but not action. And to quote him, he said “Dick is a cock!”
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